The Difference Between Being in Love and Just Being Attached

“True love does not have attachments. You give freely, without caring what comes back in return.” – Corey Wayne

How can you tell if you genuinely love someone or if you are just emotionally attached to them? Love, to me, is one of the biggest mysteries of life but if there is one thing to know for sure, is that it feels different than anything you have ever felt before. Being with someone can articulate in mutual attraction and eventually to being attached but are you really falling in love? This blog tries to differentiate between the two very similar yet wildly opposite feelings.

1. It's “we” and not “I”

Loving someone is a very powerful feeling and it could find a place in your heart for someone other than yourself. You will begin to notice a change in your thoughts and your actions. Being in love makes you so appreciative of that persons’ presence that you wish to embark on every journey with them. And not only do you realize that connection, but you also realize that there is only “we/us” in it and not “I/me”.

However, in just being attached to someone, you are primarily only thinking about yourself rather than the other person. Your world basically revolves around the things “you” experience and focuses on how someone can make it better for you. You simply are not in love with them, even though you might think that you are just because you like the company.

2. Love = Growth + Positivity

Being in love is so much more than just appreciating someone’s physical presence in your life. Love can make you stronger, happier, and more determined than anything else. You long to grow and vow to learn more from life because you are willing to do whatever it takes to make the other person happy. Your partner will not only push you towards the greater things in life, but they will also create a very positive bubble around you.

Attachment, on the other hand, relies mostly on your perception of life than anybody else. It is because you still haven’t found it in you to hand the reins to someone else and only believe that you know best. This creates a very stagnant relationship between you are your partner where there is no room to grow or learn in a positive environment.

3. Love is transparent, attachment is closed doors

Transparency is the heart of any relationship that has stemmed from mutual love and respect. You are not scared or apprehensive of letting someone in through the doors of your heart. You like to not just be truthful but also honest, open, and happy in doing so. Letting someone know about the fears, insecurities, mistakes, and heartbreak could be a very open and rewarding thing to do. And when your partner is in love with you too, they wouldn’t hesitate in doing the same.

But it could so much harder when you are only attached to a person because you simply haven’t built up that trust in your relationship. If you are afraid to open up to your partner just because it doesn’t feel right, or because you are scared of admitting your regrets and mistakes, you are sadly not in love. You need to find someone that is so pure and understanding that you would never hesitate to be your true self.

4. Selflessness Vs Selfishness

Love is selfless and there is nothing you wouldn’t do for the person you love. You wish to do things that would make them happy and you love seeing them happy. You will fight to do more things for each other to express how much you appreciate them and everything they have done for you. You grow much more through a relationship like this because you are not keeping score or playing mind games.

Attachment merely focuses on how you can reward yourself and get out of challenging situations. For instance, you don’t ask how their day was, instead you rant all your problems to them hoping they can help you out. Or manipulating your partner to do something that you were supposed to do just because you can.

5. Healthy Vs Unhealthy Relationship

A healthy relationship is a balanced relationship of trust, respect, positivity, and love. An unhealthy relationship, on the other hand, is scarred with manipulation, disrespect, toxic behavior, and greed. Love can be liberating and freeing, allowing you to appreciate yourself and the life you live. An unhealthy attachment can make you feel like living in a cage and very restricted in more ways than one. Not only do you like being the center of attention, but you also seem to isolate them from other social interactions, just so they can spend more time being involved in your well-being.

If this blog helps you realize that you are in love, I am so happy for you. If not, I hope that you too, find the most amazing experience of your life, and may it be wonderful in so many ways. No matter what relationship you are in, never let go of what makes you, You!

Recommended Read: 10 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship